I am sitting here trying to figure out what my purpose truly is around here anymore...I sat down with the girls when they got home from school yesterday afternoon to help them with their homework. Alex informed me that they were big girls now and didnt need my help....I overslept this morning and I got up at 700 am. When I came down, the had their lunches made and breakfast ate. My friend Christine said they are at the age of independence. So, what am I supposed to? Just sit here and make sure they dont burn the house down and provide a taxi service to them for their activities??? I feel as if I really dont have much of a purpose here these days except to make sure they are safe and to make dinner for them. They even do their own laundry now! Its funny, I couldnt wait for their independence to bloom but now that it has, I wish they didnt have as much! It was so sad yesterday...Tigger (their cat) walked around upstairs from room to room looking for them and then she came back downstairs and sat the front door and waited and watched before noon. She finally gave up around 11 am and curled up next to me on the couch. When they got home though, she was real quick to run to them and lick them to death and then laid at their feet while they did homework...Today she is just resigned to the fact that she will have to wait until 230 to lick them to death!
The Lupron shot wasnt as bad yesterday as I thought it was going to be....the side effects though this morning are killing me...I am not sure whats worse, the side effects from the endometriosis or the side effects from the shot. I am hoping this really works though so I can get on with my life...drug induced menopause at my age isnt how I pictured gliding into my 30's either...(one month from today for those who are keeping track...) I am going through a depressive period I think and realizing that while my kids are getting older and no longer really need me, I am also not going to be able to have anymore kids either, unless we adopt which isnt out of the question yet. I am trying to convince my sister to start trying but she is too damn afraid of turning out like my mom....I told her that was a freaking cop out and we both knew it...I hope she has an epiphany before its too late...I know she is young yet but I am not getting any younger and neither is Matt. I know he'd like to be able to enjoy their kids too...then again, it does have its advantages...the girls are the only grandchildren really on my side plus Phil and Danielles kiddos.
Its incredibly warm here again today so I am going to go find a nice cool place to sit down and watch HGTV and work on my next afghan...its coming along already!
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