Proud Mama!

So despite my leg throbbing to beat hell here, my girls brought home great news! Alex is in the gifted and talented program and both girls tried out for and made the performing arts club! Alex is also trying out for the school play and should have no problems making it since she is a full on drama queen!

I know I dont tell the girls this enough but I am VERY proud of them! Time to help with homework!

long time, no write...

So its been awhile since I last blogged. I have been busy with menial tasks around here...

The latest news is that I blew my MCL. Not fun, in a brace from my ankle to my thigh and I have my weapons of mass destruction, AKA the crutches...I am starting PT soon and then an MRI sooner or later...it sucks and it hurts. The medications make me drowsy and still dont kill the pain much....

Friday I was scheduled for an US for the endometriosis at HMC West. Had a full bladder, was told when I checked in that the tech "was running late". I took that to mean she had a patient that took longer than expected. No...she had car problems and still wasnt there when I left at 930 am after waiting an hour...thankfully they rectified the situation by doing it on Saturday. Still, a phone call wouldve been nice!!!

Ok...I am starting to drift off because of the Percocets so I will write more later...I swear!!!

=)

why does she act like this???

I am sitting here listen to Alex whine like a damn 2 year old...and for whatever reasons, God only knows! I just got back from the dentists office and my jaw is throbbing as it is...now my head is throbbing. I hate these moods of hers...and now Madysen is screaming at Matt for no reason...if we didnt fight in this house at least once a day, I would think I were in the wrong house...Oh well. Dinner is ready....Welcome to a day in my life....

lazy sunday

We are spending a lazy sunday here. Matt is at work...I am still not used to this Sunday-Thursday crap yet...oh well. The girls are playing in the pool that we set up again on Friday, I am doing laundry, working on an afghan and watching Bridezillas on WE, dreading and planning the upcoming week. For someone who stays at home, I sure stay busy...makes me wonder how I did it all and work a 40 hour work week at one point...I am utterly exhausted these days and I am not sure if its the Lupron or just being over extended with the girls.

Tomorrow I have nothing planned and I fully intend to keep it that way. Need to walk the girls to school to drop off a lunch payment and Madysen's meds at the health room, Tuesday I have another dental appt at 330, Wednesday I'm getting my hair cut, have a volunteer orientation at the school, errands to run, eye doctor at 330 pm in Kapolei. Thursday, finish running the errands that I dont get done on Wednesday and then relaxation! Friday I have an Ultrasound at 900 am and then Matt and I are headed to Teddy's Burgers in Aiea for lunch and then a lazy day from there. Saturday we are having a friend and her family of Matt's over for lunch and a play date for the girls. I dont know when I have time to breath to be honest...

It was a busy week for me here though too...Chris and I went to Teddy's yesterday for lunch, Friday we ran a handful of errands all morning, Thursday we just relaxed!

The girls spent ALL DAY in the pool yesterday and are on track to spend all day in it again today. It made for a crabby Alex last night and her attitude was in the tank all night. She has become more defiant and arrogant towards Matt and I these past few weeks and Im not sure I like it...I dont know if its the age, a school influence and friends influence or what but she was my sweet natured little girl about a year ago...

ADHD???

Ive been finding plenty of things to keep myself busy now that the girls are back in school! I have started another afghan, continued with the scrapbooking and I also just started a new counted cross stitching project that is going to take me forever to get done. I need to get to Office Max so I can blow up the pattern. My eye sight is going horrible...another sign of getting older!

I had to give Fred a hair cut last night...he rolled in something dead and it wouldnt come out with a simple soap and water treatment. He is super irritated with me but we've started calling him "Butch" now and it just irritates him even more! And they say cats are stupid animals! Matt told me he is going to have a complex. Too late, I think he already does! =)

I found a friend on Facebook who I havent talked to in about 20 years! It was great to catch up with Cara through Facebook messaging!! It seems like that part of my life was a lifetime ago...then again, it was....

The girls have doctors appts today...I am dreading taking them because they each need a shot and Madysen is going to freak out! My friend Christine is here though so between her, Matt and I, we should be able to hold her down! I hope...there will be a follow up blog post to that tonight!

no longer needed??

I am sitting here trying to figure out what my purpose truly is around here anymore...I sat down with the girls when they got home from school yesterday afternoon to help them with their homework. Alex informed me that they were big girls now and didnt need my help....I overslept this morning and I got up at 700 am. When I came down, the had their lunches made and breakfast ate. My friend Christine said they are at the age of independence. So, what am I supposed to? Just sit here and make sure they dont burn the house down and provide a taxi service to them for their activities??? I feel as if I really dont have much of a purpose here these days except to make sure they are safe and to make dinner for them. They even do their own laundry now! Its funny, I couldnt wait for their independence to bloom but now that it has, I wish they didnt have as much! It was so sad yesterday...Tigger (their cat) walked around upstairs from room to room looking for them and then she came back downstairs and sat the front door and waited and watched before noon. She finally gave up around 11 am and curled up next to me on the couch. When they got home though, she was real quick to run to them and lick them to death and then laid at their feet while they did homework...Today she is just resigned to the fact that she will have to wait until 230 to lick them to death!

The Lupron shot wasnt as bad yesterday as I thought it was going to be....the side effects though this morning are killing me...I am not sure whats worse, the side effects from the endometriosis or the side effects from the shot. I am hoping this really works though so I can get on with my life...drug induced menopause at my age isnt how I pictured gliding into my 30's either...(one month from today for those who are keeping track...) I am going through a depressive period I think and realizing that while my kids are getting older and no longer really need me, I am also not going to be able to have anymore kids either, unless we adopt which isnt out of the question yet. I am trying to convince my sister to start trying but she is too damn afraid of turning out like my mom....I told her that was a freaking cop out and we both knew it...I hope she has an epiphany before its too late...I know she is young yet but I am not getting any younger and neither is Matt. I know he'd like to be able to enjoy their kids too...then again, it does have its advantages...the girls are the only grandchildren really on my side plus Phil and Danielles kiddos.

Its incredibly warm here again today so I am going to go find a nice cool place to sit down and watch HGTV and work on my next afghan...its coming along already!

first day of school

So today is the girls first day of school for the year...I was OK dropping them off but now I am trying to fill the empty void of 6 hours a day...I went to Wal-Mart this morning which killed an hour, put stuff away when I got home, took the extra leaf out of the table and put that, along with the extra chairs away, marinated pork chops for dinner, put away some laundry, filled out some forms for Alex's soccer club...worked on my next afghan...1 hour until I can go get them.

Their teachers seem nice so thats always a plus. Lets hope it stays that way this year...got my doctors appt at 330 pm for the Lupron today...I am nervous as all get out about it.

This week is going to be traumatizing on Alex...dentist again on Wednesday afternoon, doctors appt on Thursday afternoon for school physicals and a booster shot...Madysen will be more traumatized by the shots than Alex will. God help us all and anyone around the doctors office. Lets just put it this way, youll be able to hear Madysen howl through Kapolei.

Tis the life of me!

perfectionist?

I was in Alex's cross hairs all day today...first it was the screwing up of the school supplies in the wrong bag, then I couldnt microwave her lunch right apparently. Finally she called me "inept" because I bought her school shirts a size bigger than normal so she'd grow into them over the course of the year. Thankfully Matt got home around 330 pm and then he was in her cross hairs the rest of the day...

Maybe I am trying too hard with the girls. Maybe I am striving for perfection that cannot be obtained. They have very few responsibilities around here: do their own laundry, unload the dishwasher and homework. Other than that, they can skate. Maybe thats the problem...Matt and I have done too much for them...I fear turning into my mother by making them do more things around here and while I am not here to be their friend, I just want them to like me at the same point in time. I want them to be the ones to tell their friends "Yeah, my mom is pretty cool...for an old lady!" I dont know anymore...

Tomorrow they start school. Finally, back to a routine that we can deal with!!!! I have a ton of errands to run tomorrow so that 6 hours that they're in school is going to fly...I have to get to the library to get some books to keep me from going insane and to keep my mind off of the Lupron therapy tomorrow afternoon as well!

Anyway, I am exhausted. I finished another afghan tonight and started another one right away...i cant seem to sit still!!

Night world...

ugh

So I messed up the girls' school bags by putting the wrong stuff in the wrong bag. I am glad that they discovered it today instead of tomorrow when they got to school but it came at a price for me! Was called everything BUT my name! So, I calmly told them that if they felt they could do a better job then they could redo their own bags. And they did. Not my problem anymore! I cant believe though that they are going to be 4th and 5th graders already! Where did  my babies go?! Alex is being tested to possibly advance to 5th grade as well. This kid is learning mandarin chinese in her spare time! I mean seriously?! Every bit like her Aunt Becky though who used to read the encyclopedia for fun! You remember that 26 volume thing that used to weigh a ton before Al Gore invented the Internet so we didnt have to use those smelly things ever again?

On cruise control the rest of the day here. Matt started back to that God Awful Sunday-Thursday shift but still on days so he wont be home until around 330 pm...just the girls and I chilling...and watching HGTV all day! =)

exhaustion

So, I think I have learned my lesson about reading creepy books before bed. FINALLY fell off around 330 am this morning, only to be woke up by Tigger staring at me around 730 am. Way too creepy to wake up and look down and see a miserable ball of fur staring back at you...no nap today, just sheer exhaustion now! But I finished "The Search" by Nora Roberts. Excellent book and I am headed to the library on Monday to check out more books by her.

Another fun day of arguing with Alex today. I hope she channels that arguing into a productive career as a lawyer. Then again, she is just like my sister was at that age. A smart ass know-it-all. =) Madysen actually cleaned off her desk. I am hoping to light a fire under her tomorrow to get the rest of that pit cleaned. Unlikely but wishful thinking in my little dream world that I live in!

Monday I start the Lupron injections for the endometriosis. I am NOT looking forward to it as I had one in the ER on Thursday night and the injection site is still sore. I honestly hope this works. I am exhausted going to doctor after doctor to try and figure out what the issue is. If these work, I may be a candidate for surgery to permanently laser the fibroids off. Drug induced menopause is what the dr is calling it. So, there goes any chance of having more kids if we wanted to. Not that we were going to try again anyway but it was a small consolation of having that security. Oh well. There is always the possibility of adoption. Hopefully we will beat that whack job Casey Anthony to the agency. That though my friends, is another story for another day on how I feel about her. Another blog entry I guess!

Girls start school on Monday...I am looking forward to having 6 hours a day to myself. Of course I say that now when in reality, I will miss them like hell....

I am going to lay down now...I am way too pathetic...already in my PJ's and ready for bed by 715 pm on a Saturday night...

insomniac

Just when I thought I was exhausted to beyond belief, I find the energy to be going on further. Oh well. Consider this my "Real Life Confessions of an Insomniac" I guess...maybe my book by Nora Roberts "The Search" will knock me under in a few.

Some days I wonder where I find the energy to go on like the damn energizer bunny...with 2 pre-teen (tween monsters as I so lovingly refer to them some days as) girls that keep me on my toes with non-stop activities and chatter, I am surprised I dont make like Rip Van Winkle some nights and sleep until noon the next day! Alex has competitive soccer 2 nights a week, which we are on a symbattical from until 1 August, plus she still wants to play AYSO this season. May God grant me the serenity to juggle both for her...well, serenity for all 4 of us since Saturdays are devoted solely to soccer. Screw college football for Matt and I! And did I Thank God for the DVR so we can watch our beloved Iowa Hawkeyes and Wisconsin Badgers play??? What sucks about Hawaii is that all of the games that we want to watch are on at o'dark thirty here...seriously when we have a bye week in soccer, its really one of those FML kind of moments because we both desperately want to sleep in but that damn college football draws us in and up at 0530! Cant go wrong with a cold beer at that hour though I suppose!

So here I sit in my cute little suburban Honolulu home as it draws near midnight and all i have for background noise is the gecko's chirping as they crap on my back lanai. "Hey girls! Guess what tomorrow brings?! Yep! Spraying gecko crap off the back lanai!" Sucks to be them!

Anyway, my couch is beckoning me and Tigger has her hackels up over something...probably her look alike that prowls in the backyard at night...if I am lucky, she wont meow all night and will allow me to get some sleep on the fricking couch...

raising tweens

Everyone said we were crazy when we had the girls so close together. At the time, we laughed at them. Now, I can see why they said that!!! So much drama and competition in this house at times. It makes me CRAZY!!!!! But, I love the girls and I wouldnt trade them for the world. Some days. ;)